I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
