quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
