bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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