U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
