he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
