can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
