Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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