Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
