She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
