She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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