is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
