just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
