$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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