i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
