I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
