the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
