He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
