Someone shit on the floor
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
