Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
