Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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