i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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