Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i think i just lost a toe
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
