I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
