Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
