i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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