either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
