fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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