We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
