I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
