Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
