Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
