she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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