they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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