New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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