i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
