Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
