playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
