Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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