so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
this will be a night to untag.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
