but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
