PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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