Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
