Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
