he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
