Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
