Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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