if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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