i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
