I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
