Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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