So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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