It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Two words: blizzard sex
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